


♪ The One Thing They Didn’t Take Away. ♪

by ItsCamren



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Aang (Avatar)-centric, Aangst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Aang/Katara (Avatar), F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Light Kataang, MUSICAN AANG LETS GOOO, POV Aang (Avatar), This is sad but I love my airbending son I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsCamren/pseuds/ItsCamren
Summary: “I know, Katara. I’ve heard it all before. Of course no one else is like me, that’s the problem...”Deep down he’s still that little kid that doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet.| A bittersweet Aang Fan Fic because I love my air boy. (Written by a band kid as you will soon see.) |
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	♪ The One Thing They Didn’t Take Away. ♪

Right now, in this moment, he was alone. And that’s all that mattered.

Aang wanted to be alone; a bit rich coming from an extrovert who usually flourished in the presence of other people. However tonight was the exception. He had been tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep for hours. No matter how exhausted his body felt, Aang's mind wouldn't let him rest. But he had a plan prepared for whenever he felt this way. And no one else knew about it. It’s all his.

Aang poked his head out of his tent and searched around. Katara, Sokka, Toph, even Momo and Appa we’re all still sleeping. Good. It’ll be easier to sneak off if they are. If any of them were awake he’d have to lie about where he was going. Pretend as if he was just planning to meditate and needed a quiet place to do so. (Which is not entirely untrue but not entirely the truth either.) Aang hated lying though, no matter how small of a white lie it may be. It’s better off if no one knew what he was about to do.

He placed his right hand over the hidden pocket inside of his air nomad robe and felt the instrument through the fabric. It was still there. Of course it was. He never went anywhere without it. Still Aang made sure to check that it stayed in his possession every day. He didn’t know what he would do if he’d lost it. Aang Air Nomads were suppose to keep personal belongings to a minimum, but he couldn't help it. This was far too important.

Aang held his breath as he slowly made his way out of tent, eying his sleeping friends the entire time. The moon was still out but it would be dawn soon enough. He still had some time before the sun would fully rise in the sky and his friends would start cooking breakfast. Aang had another long day of Sokka cracking jokes, Katara keeping everyone in line, and practicing earthbending from the newest member of the group, Toph, who’s method of teaching seemed to be less about bending techniques, and more about throwing rocks at his face. It would be a long day for sure and not exactly one he was eager to start. He estimated he had roughly 20 minutes before he had to head back to the group and pretend to wake up for real. That's fine. 20 minutes is enough for him.

Aang tipped-toed around his friends, using the help of his airbending to barely leave a sound and making sure not to disturb anyone’s slumber. They were lucky that they could rest. Nights like these to Aang made the moonlight feel almost too bright to fall asleep. And while his body was tired, his thoughts could not rest. He didn’t want to worry them though, at least his friends could sleep tonight.

Soon Aang made his way to the perfect tree for what he was planning to do, and where he believed at the time was a far enough place away from camp where no one could hear him. Funny enough the moonlight had practically guided him right to this very spot. Lighting up the tree brightly making it stand out from the rest of the forest. He thanked the moon for bringing him here and did an ‘airbending jump’ to launch himself up and land on one of the larger tree branches. There he looked down on the land that surrounded him, letting himself take in the view and embraced fresh breeze blowing on his face. It was around this time where the sun peeked its first rays out on the horizon, painting the sky in a bright and vibrant pink and orange. Quite the opposite from the light blue arrows on his body. Back then Aang didn’t know he’d be the last person to ever get airbending tattoos. He shook his head, as if to push the thought out of his mind. Then Aang pulled out the airbender's flute from his pocket, and started playing.

It had become a habit, a coping mechanism in a way, for him to play. Whenever Aang couldn’t sleep, or was feeling frustrated about earthbending training, or when he simply missed his old home, he’d sit on a tall tree branch and start playing his flute. Allowing the melodies to put his mind at ease. The silence of the night had a strange way of being overwhelmingly loud, almost to the point where Aang could not bare it. Music filled the quietness of his surroundings. Playing was therapeutic for him.

Aang didn't tell anyone about this though. Not even his friends knew about his self-indulgent hobby. He kept the airbender's flute to himself, almost becoming overprotective of it, and only played for himself. It was the only relic from the Southern Air Temple that Aang still had. The same instrument that Monk Gyatso handed down to him. Aang originally brought it with him when he first ran away. Just in case he wanted to play for fun and show it off. He didn’t know he’d never get the chance to return it to him.

While he no longer played in front of people, when Aang did play it was like everything else disappeared. Like he could let the whole world pass him by. Every worry he had would dissolve in an instance, every bit of stress would wash away. It was the only time he gave himself permission to truly let go. To get lost in song.

He was the boy with the entire world resting on his shoulders. He had become the little soldier boy who was responsible for ending a war and restoring peace between all nations of the world. Something he never asked for. No one ever considered his feelings or asked him if this is what *he* wanted. His destiny, his whole purpose even, was to be the Avatar. But right now, he was just a normal boy.

As Aang played his fluent it felt like he was a kid at the Southern Air Temple again. Everything else suddenly seemed so trivial. The only thing he focused on was the chorus poring from his instrument. And when Aang closed his eyes he could imagine he was playing with Gyatso again. He was the last airbender, (a title he despised wholeheartedly) but when he played it was like he wasn’t alone anymore. Aang swore he could sometimes FEEL his old mentors’ presence around him, even though he knew it sounded crazy.

Aang didn’t care. Playing was so relaxing. Even the squirrel birds would chirp with him - as if they too remembered the songs of the Air Nomads and were singing along with him. As he played more he became one with his surroundings. Nothing could distract him now or get in his way. Nothing else mattered.

Some time in between songs Aang thought he could sense another presence. Not Gyatso, this time it felt as if someone real was listening to him. Aang felt like he was being watched, but he quickly dismissed it, not wanting to stop playing and turn back just yet. Instead he just continued to focus on the rhythm coming from his flute. Letting it drown out anything that burdened him. The more he played the clearer he could picture the Air Nomads faces. As if they were still here. His great loss. The Air Nomads were people that loved getting together for singing and dancing, and he could picture them dancing to his music. The rise and sore of their movements as the wind suddenly zoomed out suddenly revealing thousands of airbenders among the clouds. They had transcended time to appear in the sky right in front of him. His entire family and home.

And just as quickly as they appeared... they vanished.

All of them, just gone. Aang wanted to reach OUT to them - reach out and hug them. Tell them he’s sorry. So sorry. He didn’t mean for things to end up the way they did. He didn’t want to forget them. He didn’t want to let go. It would mean letting go a part of him.

That’s when he heard it. A voice coming through the wind calling out for him.

“Aang.”

The voice sounded calming and familiar.

“Aang.”

There it was again, ever so slightly louder this time. Where had he heard that voice before?

“Aang!”

This time it was clear enough for him to snap out of his trance, just for a moment, but still enough for him to realize who was really talking to him. After a few seconds of hesitation, he looked down at her from his tree branch.

“What are you doing?”

What was he doing? Aang had never felt these emotions so intensely before and he worried what she would think. But her face was filled with concern, not judgement. Still he felt as if he owed her an apology.

“Sorry, Katara.”

“Sorry for what, Aang?”

“.... Waking you.”

”Aang I was already awake. I had woken up early today to cook breakfast for everyone, now that we have Toph we need extra food. But then I overheard faint music playing and well, I was curious to see where it was coming from... Can you come down please so I can look at you better?”

He had been playing for much longer than 20 minutes, though he hadn’t realized it until Katara had interrupted him. Aang noticed the moon was completely gone from the sky now and had been replaced by the sun. He had spent the whole night alone. He didn’t exactly feel like returning to the surface but since she asked so kindly he decided to anyway.

Aang slowly made his way down to the ground, his body feeling heavier than normal. When Aang eventually reached her, Katara placed her right hand on the side of his face, gently wiping away a tear that had escaped his eyes. He hadn’t even realized that he was still softly crying but the tenderness of her touch unequivocally made him want to sob even more.

“Aang, what’s wrong?”

He was immediately taken back by her question. How was he supposed to answer that? Nothing was exactly wrong, and yet so much was. He fiddled with his thumbs while avoiding eye contact. Feeling nervous and restless inside his yellow and orange air nomad cloak. He felt like an imposter wearing them.

Aang opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Moments ago he was playing multiple songs and now he was at a lost for words. He couldn't even make a sound. Katara patiently waited for him to respond but when he still didn’t answer after several minutes she spoke up for him.

“I didn’t mean to spy on you.” 

Katara gave him an empathic look although Aang continued to keep his head facing down to the ground. He could tell by the tone of her voice how she felt though. It didn’t make him feel any better. Just somehow more guilty.

“I know you didn’t.”

He finally said, so softly that she could barely hear him. When he didn’t say anything else, Katara continued.

“That’s good because I only wanted to know where that beautiful sound was coming from. And now I know.”

Katara said as she lifted Aang’s head ever so slightly, just enough for him to look directly at her. Aang stared right in her ocean blue eyes. Aang already knew she was being sincere and now he saw it in both her words and her expression.

“You have a gift, Aang.”

He mustered up all his strength to give her a small smile. It’s what she deserved for being so kind. It was hard faking being happy when inside his heart was breaking, but he was used to it by now.

“Thank you, Katara.”

Of course he meant it, though as he spoke Katara could still see sadness in his eyes. She couldn’t quite explain the feeling, but she was hit with the overwhelming desire to cheer him up. Much like Aang had done for her many times before.

“That was certainly lovely music, but when I saw you all alone I got worried. You seemed... hurt.”

Aang gulped. He didn’t like making her feel concerned about him. He shouldn’t have come here.

Katara's only want right now was to understand what brought Aang here.

“Why didn’t you share your music before? Do you think you’re not good? Because you definitely are.”

‘Probably the same reason why I didn’t tell you I was the Avatar until you found out yourself.’ He thought.

“No. It’s not that... I guess I wanted to keep this to myself, at least for a while.”

Once again his eyes kept darting away from her as he spoke. He just couldn’t face her. Instead he kept staring at his airbender's flute. Seeing the instrument in the morning sunlight he could clearly tell that some of the paint had started to peel off from him clutching it so hard all the time. He still kept it inside a chest pocket in his clothes where most people couldn’t see, right near his heart.

Aang finally looked up to see her expression. Katara still showed concern but what else was he supposed to say? Of course he didn’t tell anyone about it. He didn’t WANT anyone to hear him. Not because he hated his own playing, or his friends, or her... but for the same reason he first neglected to tell anyone that he was the Avatar. His home, his family, culture were all gone. But this fluent, HIS airbender’s flute, that was personal. After everything he went through, after everything THEY took from him, his home, his mentor, his people,,, each time they took from him they also took a part of soul. It was the one memory of his old life that they didn’t take away.

When Aang played he mourned all of them. But he also played to remember. To be reminded of their voices singing to him. T+ ....................o be reminded of celebrations and festivals that would bring them together. Everyone coming together as a family to dance and laugh. He played when the music could have faded away. He was the only one who could pass it down now. And of course Aang loved playing. And though he also loved Katara, how was she supposed to understand all that?

“Music is special to me... I rather play by myself.”

‘Music is special?’ That sounded so dumb when he said it out loud. She probably thought he was weird now. It was just an instrument but meant so much more to him. But how was he supposed to explain how he felt to her. How it felt to be the last airbender. After all the world had seemed to move on. They had 100 years to do so. The rest of the world seemed to be functioning almost as usual without the Air Nomads by now. Aang didn’t know if he found comforting or if he resented it.

Once again Katara broke the silence.

“Is there another reason?”

How was she so good at reading his emotions? It was almost scary. Katara always had a strong desire for helping people. Her empathy never failed to amaze him. And while all Airbender were empaths, it was Katara’s compassion that inspired Aang the most. He didn’t deserve it. He began to turn away from him once more.

“Aang. Please. You have to tell me what’s wrong.”

Her voice sounded so comforting and he had to fight the urge not to hug he tightly and rest his head on her shoulder. But he didn’t know what else to say. So he waited for her to speak for him again.

“I can tell this means a lot to you. I know these past few days have been stressful. I’m sure you’ll the hang of earthbending-“

“It’s not just that.” His back was now turned at her and she could barely hear him speak. He wanted it that way. Though Katara was partly correct, as she was with most things, she still didn’t fully understand what was going through. No one did. It had been by earthbending training. Earthbending was never his strong suit. It was the opposite of who he was. It was beginning to feel as though he’d never understood it. Help understand.

“I’m the Avatar. I tried running away from my responsibilities before, but no matter what I do can’t escape the life I’m supposed to live.”

“You’re the Avatar, but you’re also my friend Aang. No person should have to put all this pressure themselves. Why blame yourself everything that happened in the last 100 years on yourself Aang?”

He tried to her words. But of course he blamed himself. Why wouldn’t he? And that’s just something no other person on earth could understand. No living person knew what it was like being the Avatar. And not even his own past lives could fully understand the position he was in. Being in a war and being the last of his people. Of course he blamed himself for running away, of course he blamed himself for not fighting when he had the chance, and he of course he blamed himself for not moving on by now when the whole world seemed to already. (Even though he also knew he would never let himself let it go.)

Katara could tell that Aang was hurting inside, and despite her efforts so far she couldn’t seem to reach him. She didn’t know how to help him but she wanted to. After all, he was on a journey to help save the world, the least she could do was help save him from his

Thoughts kept racing in Aang’s head though. How was anyone supposed to know what he was going through? They weren’t Air Nomads, and the whole world had 100 years to forget them, he was barely 12 when he discovered he was the Avatar and got his childhood ripped away from him on the same day. He wanted to explain himself to her but he just didn’t know how. Music was there for when words weren’t enough. And he had no words to express his emotions.

Finally after a long silence, he spoke.

“It’s not exactly up to me. I have to be the Avatar. It’s not what I want but it’s what the world needs.”

‘He truly believed he couldn’t be the Avatar and be himself’ she thought. Though they were close friends, she disagreed completely. She would speak up. He could and should be both.

“We all make mistakes Aang. You might be the Avatar but you’re also a kid.”

‘Yeah, the Avatar that ran away. The Avatar that doomed thousands of his own people.’ He stubbornly thought. Who says he shouldn't feel guilty? At least he felt something. He was alive. Couldn’t say the same for his people. It was a toxic mindset maybe, but one he believed he deserved. He had kept all these thoughts and feelings bottled up so no one had to see them. Because he told himself that if they did they’d see him as the failed Avatar too. He was supposed to be there for the world, and he blew it, now he’s paying the price, at least that’s what he convinced himself of.

“I know, Katara. I’ve heard it all before. Of course no one is like me, that’s the problem...”

Deep down he’s still that little kid that doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet. He’s so tired of feeling. Every happy memory of his home was overshadowed by the fact that it’s over now. He’ll never get to see his old friends again, never hear Gyatso’s voice again, never see hundreds of flying bison soaring through the sky again... And he let that happen. He'd do anything to turn back the clock.

He wanted to fix his mistakes but it was too late to go back. And it felt better to be angry rather than miserable because sadness was paralyzing while anger was motivating. It was the only thing pushing him forward. It probably wasn’t healthy for him to bottled up his emotions but what else could he do? He didn’t want to hurt any more people. And yet... why did he still long to tell Katara?

Aang told himself the main reason why he played was to not forget the Air Nomads but he really played to mourn them. But he also mourned himself. The certain perception of yourself one has when their love ones are alive, that is simply not there anymore once they are dead. Suddenly you wake up and you are no longer a nephew, brother, or son to anyone. And now he’s left with a million questions spinning around in his head.

Who was he now in this world without them? What was truly left of him now that they’re all gone? He knew the world had changed so much in the past 100 years, and even though every new day he was shown this fact, it still surprised him. He compared it to how much he had changed in the past few months. Would it be enough to undo some damage? If Gyatso could see him, what would he think of him now? Aang mourned the fact that he’ll never truly be able to see himself the same way again. Grieving his love ones, his culture, and the childhood he lost.

Katara wrapped both her arms around his back and hugged him, tightly. He had been lost in deep thought for so long that he had almost forgotten her question. He suddenly felt silly overthinking now. The hug felt warm and welcoming, and it snapped him back to reality. He hadn’t realized how touch starved he had become but suddenly he felt a million times lighter in her arms. Katara had an amazing way of healing his wounds even without her bending.

Katara hugged Aang to comfort him, but she also did that to help herself. She hated seeing Aang like this. It was rare that he lost his cheery and playful demeanor, and now she could clearly see that he had been using it as a mask to hide his true feelings this whole time. She didn’t know what it was like being the Avatar, but she wanted him to know that she understood his pain. Maybe it was because she too lost her childhood and was forced to grow up fast to help her tribe. She had lost someone close to her due to the war and was the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. It wasn’t the same but she wanted to be by his side.

Just moments before all this she overheard Aang playing his airbender's flute. It sounded so whimsical, magical even, although Katara was never one to call things “magic” normally. She decided to not interrupt the young Avatar, but instead just let him play. Up till that point she didn’t know Aang could play an instrument. He never once mentioned it to her, but he played so well she was almost in tranced by his music. She must have listened to him for nearly 20 minutes at least, although it felt like barely 20 seconds. It was definitely no instrument she had ever heard before but she could feel his passion as he played. She decided she loved the sound of him.

She hugged him closer, for him and for her. They were both two kids trying to find themselves in a world divided by war. Taking on all the burdens of the world by himself when he was usually optimistic and upbeat seeing him down like this made her want to cry.

She wished she could make him understand how he made her felt. Not just with his music but all the time. And passion made her feel a little lighter smile a little bright a little longer. She needed him.

“Aang, you don’t need to hide anything from me.”

Her voice was so sweet. He just embraced her presence. Katara gave him a kind of strength he couldn’t explain. But by her side he felt like he could do anything. He needed her, he wanted to be with her. Aang didn’t have thousands of Airbenders with him anymore, but he did have her. And maybe he would be okay. Because the right person loving you can feel like a million people. He felt like he could admit how he felt to her, finally.

“I... I miss them. I miss the Air Nomads so much Katara.”

He could feel tears start to fall down his face, he let them fall as he looked into her ocean eyes again.

Katara cupped his face with her hands, wiping away his tears gently with her thumbs. She was proud of him for finally being honest and vulnerable about his feelings. She was here for him, as he was with her.

“Aang I had no idea. Of course you feel this way.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing the Air Nomads but... I playing music actually helps me remember them, especially Gyatso.”

Aang missed all his old airbending friends but Gyatso was always more like a father figure to him. Aang had only mentioned him to Katara once, saying that he was his airbending mentor but Katara could tell now that he was much more to Aang than just that. He was family. She could see it in his eyes because it’s the same look of grief she felt when thought about her mother.

“I know it’s silly but when I play his flute I find it easier to picture their faces. A-And it’s like their still here.” 

His voice cracked towards the end, he didn’t even care. It felt surprisingly relieving to verbalize his grief.

"This is the one thing they didn’t take or destroy yet."

Katara leaned into him so their foreheads were touching, eyes just centimeters apart. Hoping all she was thinking could from her to him.

“If there’s so much I must be, can I still just be me? The way I am...”

“I don’t see why not. Even though those are gone are with as we go on.”

“Sometimes it just feels like I’m just some piece of some great plan.”

“Being the Avatar is just one part of you. There’s so much more to you than your destiny. We’ll get through this Aang, together.”

It was true. And she had liked Aang even before knowing he was the Avatar. She would continue to like him, all of him.

Aang tried to grieve, alone. No one else knew about this kind of pain but him. Some days he was bright and joyful while others it was like he held the whole weight of the Air Nomads on him. On those days he couldn’t help but think, if the air nomads could see him now, what would they think? Then quickly erased it from his mind. He had friends right why did he still feel so empty inside? It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t help but still yearn for them. But he’s still here, the last air bender, and he could play air nomad songs for them. Their legacy lives on through the music he played, it lives on through *him.* He didn’t need to be heard, he needed to be listened to. “I meant what I said earlier. You definitely have a gift Aang.”

He smiles genuinely for the first time in a long time. “Maybe one day I will play like that again.”

__________________________________________

Sokka had gone nuts. The Water Tribe Warrior had only two shots of fire whiskey yet was already acting like a fox antelope on ice. Aang’s rolled his eyes at his brother in law. The man was such a lightweight it made him smile.

Aang grabbed his flute and walked on stage. Looking down he could see people that he loved and who loved him. On Ji’s dance club had grown so much in the past few weeks since it started. And each month Aang and his friends promised to visit and play music with instruments from all across the world for everyone. Aang was so glad he helped those Fire Nation students. (Turns out that the Fire Nation secretly loves music, theatre and dancing. Even Zuko played the tsungi horn, who would have thought?)

He was surrounded by friends and family. Toph was stuffing her face with food, Sokka was drinking to celebrate while Suki kept him under control the best she could, and Katara held their son Bumi who was just a toddler, as she smiled brightly at him. He loved them both deeply. Katara did say “We’re your family Aang.” And that’s a promise she never broke.

Whenever the world didn’t make sense, family is what grounded him. Which is why he gave his first born son an Earth Kingdom name. That and because his son’s hair reminded him of his old friend King Bumi. And one day, he would teach his kids how to play the flute as well. After all, music is meant to be shared.

He played for his new family. Embracing his culture once again. It felt so natural. It filled him up with pride and joyfulness. He could play among a crowd again. Aang promised himself he’d teach his son how to play the flute. Little Bumi was smiling as if he knew they could do duets with his father one day.

Right now, in this moment, they were together. And that’s all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who haven’t read the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics, in one Aang plays an “airbender’s flute” which is where the inspiration for this fic came from. I really like the idea of musician Aang playing this instrument to be reminded of his time at the Air Nation Temples. (Fun fact: Music is said to actually help improve your memory.) We know Aang likes music and dancing since he literary threw a dance party for the Fire Nation kids in Book 3, which he probably got from the Air Nomads. (BTW this fic doesn’t have Suki or Zuko in Gaang at the start because it takes place during Book 2.)  
> As for what the “airbending flute” actually is, the closest instrument to the one seen in the comics that I’m aware of is the Paixiao. Which is similar to panpipes except they have an arch shape that allows for ‘bending’ the pitch making it sound chromatic while still having a strong timbre/tone. This is how I actually imagine the airbender’s flute to sound like. I also like to imagine that when Katara first heard him, Aang is playing “Avatar’s Love” because that’s literally Kataang’s song. But it’s also a song he learned from the Air Nomads and since Aang’s love for Katara is the Air Nomads love for him reborn, it fits.  
> But if I’m being honest, it doesn’t matter that much what specific type of instrument Aang plays. This fanfic is supposed to be about mourning and how you shouldn’t have to grieve alone.  
> And just like how Aang was crying after opening his heart Chakra while thinking of the Air Nomads, I had Aang cry out while imagining his people listening to him play again and then have Katara show up. This time Katara is really there and can wipe away his tears.  
> I also added a little time skip at the last minute because I felt like Aang needed one in order to show how time can help heal wounds. Also we see Bumi II playing the flute to calm dark spirits in Book 2 of The Legend Of Korra so I’m 100% on board the head-canon that he learned how to play from Aang. I also added a Lion King 2 reference in this fic and if you know me personally you know why.
> 
> TL;DR So did I just write a whole fic just so I could have one of my favorite characters be a music loving nerd like me? Maybe... and hopefully others liked it!  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
